Clip Gallery

This is a publicly editable clip gallery. If anything is missing, or you have anything to add, please feel free to edit the source spreadsheet. This gallery will automatically pull the updated data every ten minutes.

F*ck it! We'll do it live!

Bill O'Reilly goes nuts

Why are you here? You're supposed to be asleep.

Chick pleads with a bear not to destroy her kayak.

Teat

To live off the teat of the great state ... Charles Krauthammer

Barbaric

Robert Byrd

Meat Don't Do It!

Meatloaf Breaks down on Celebrity Apprentice (soundbite @ 1:15)

Donkey Punch

Jeopardy clip where contestant is sure he knows the answer...

Study the world!

Crew pokes fun at Trump's "Study the world!" tweet.

I give you America itself!

Joey chestnut intro at Coney Island hot dog eating contest

And that's all I have to tell you so goodbye!

Arlen Specter to radio host who kept him on hold too long and didn't like a question asked of him .

[cacophony]

This middle school band attempt to play "Also Sprach Zaratustra" is used as the show intro every Monday morning in order to illustrate how it feels to start the week.

Chacarron

El Chombo performs

No, I will not yield to this monkey court, or whatever...

Rep. Frank Pallone accuses a House committee of being a "monkey court"

San Fran-Sick-o

Melky Cabrera "answers questions" from reporters

It's good! It's good!

Jack armstrong announcing Joe's (successful) attempt to kick a field goal

Escort

Ashley Dupr when being called a prostitute during the Eliot Spitzer scandal

It's crap? It's crap!

NBC correspondant ANDREA MITCHELL talking to Mr. ASHRAF JEHANGIR QAZI (Pakistan's Ambassador)

That was repulsive, I can't believe I had to live through that

Barista witnesses man masturbating inside Davis coffee shop . I think she was a customer of the shop . This was the first time he was there . The second time the police caught him and A&G interviewed a barista from shop .

Worst. Episode. Ever.

Comic Book Guy from "The Simpsons"

Listen boys

Doug Stephan makes a veiled threat when calling in to the show to answer to the accusations of stolen calls.

Oh my god who the hell cares

Peter from Family Guy

Smash.. smash... su-mash... yeah

Kai the hatchet wielding hitchhiker

Alex Baldwick

Paparazzi guy gets in a fight with Alec Baldwin and calls him Alex Baldwick

Big fat lesbian loud Rosie

Rosie O'Donnel on the View

She's a lesbian!

Betty White

What's to keep someone from getting all potted up on weed and getting behind the wheel

Steve Doocey from Fox & Friends about the legalization of marijuana .

Hide your kids, hide your wives

Television interview of Antoine Dodson regarding an attempted rapist.

His home country in Kenya

Michelle Obama calls Barack's home country Kenya.

Night after night?

EX- ABC 7 Los Angeles anchors Paul Moyer and Ann Martin argue between segments

On earf...

SNL spoof of Obama

My Muslim faith

Obama being interviewed by Chris Wallace talking about his faith . Had to be corrected by Mr. Wallace to say Christian faith

Enjoy the show, for one day we shall die

From a Simpsons episode where they go to a Cirque do Soleil type show.

Stop it!

Arnold Schwarzenegger

You f***ing glum c***

Mel Gibson's drunken rant

What? What?

Mel Gibson's drunken rant

Who wants to eat?

Mel Gibson's drunken rant

It don't look healthy, I tell you what (roughly)

Man finds body part stored in smoker he bought

It's the death threats that really... (something)

Jack, being interviewed by the television news

And then you got white folk (Obama, his book?)

LOTS of drops from Obama's book

They be clapping like this, y'all

Obama's Chicago pastor, Jeremiah Wright

The Bears were who we thought they were

Dennis Green press conference as Arizona Cardinals Head Coach after their loss to the Chicago Bears

The system worked

Janet Napolitano after the underwear bomber

I want to say...

Janet Napolitano on the impact of the sequester

Transition music

Trololo man Eduard Khil

Original transition music

Used to be an instrumental version of "Alone again naturally" until they figured out it was actually a really depressing song about suicide

Jackin it

South Park

"Cause I calls em like I see em" :Oh yeah" "Obama!"

Hank William's Jr "Obama is Hitler" interview

Hi there!

Handcuffed and gagged priest calling 911 from his church

Earth quake! We're experiencing an earthquake please. Still happening

Earthquake occurs during LA City Council meeting

New Transition Music: Fichtl's Lied

Die Woodys perform "Fichtl's Lied" on German TV

Numbnut

Kid misshears a word during a spelling bee.

Resist we much

Al Sharpton

Cig-a-noy Weaver

Al Sharpton reciting the NRA enemy list

On the spot dice spin

Wheel of fortune failure.

Somehow he goton the roof

Man stuck in chimney gets a tongue lashing from his girlfriend

I'm just drunk

Drunk man climbs down chimney

Where you are free to text in a theater

Courtney gets kicked out of the Alamo Drafthouse for texting in a theater.

Hard fart primary

During Eric Cantor's appearance on Meet the Press this Sunday, March 4, 2012, the Speaker accidentally slipped while trying to say fought and didn't even flinch.

This is it,,,,

Michael Jackson

Clip

Description

They cut my beard, and force me to eat it.

Man forced to eat his beard after lawn mower dispute

Teat

To live off the teat of the great state ... Charles Krauthammer

Wull (Girl scout money thieves)

Woman interview after being caught stealing money from Gilr Scouts

Wull (Obama threat)

Turlock girl says she hopes Obama dies uses the infamous 'wull'.

Fight it!

Terry calls in to advise Jack on how he should handle his texting and driving ticket.

Keep f*cking that chicken

Ernie Anastos - Fox 5 - Source of the "KFTC" unofficial show moniker.

Obama!

Hank Williams Jr.

Mikey's firing on all cylinders

Guy leaves message on his boss's machine because he's being sent home for coming to work drunk

But... he's gay - I mean he's gay - excuse me, he's blind

News reporter slip up about a guy who climbed Everest

Love that squirt! / The gum that goes squirt

Commercial for Freshenup Gum

Dominick the Donkey

Theme song for old producer Dominick

Not...uh..good.

Lance Armstrong during his interview regarding doping on Oprahabout how he had treated his former masseuse Emma O'Reilly

Nazi Germany

May 12, 2010: Los Angeles city council member Paul Koretz at a meeting talking about boycotting Arizona over their immigration bill.

Kapooya, kapooya!

Lady describing a hail strom

Don't never ever trust whitey

Clip from 1979 movie "The Jerk".

I'm used to some pretty salty language

I was raised in a little town that had 13 brothels in it so Im used to some pretty salty language as you know, Harry Reid said before repeating Boehners use of the profane language . Telling the Senate to get off their asses

What do you want... when do you want it?

Joe's 'favorite clip of all time' in which a man ralleys up sheep.

I'm not laughing dammit I'm not laughing.

Louis Farrakhan on McDonald's

He's a sickener

??? Wasn't this an announcer during a soccer game? <-- One of the later games in the '14 World Cup, I believe where one player was ejected for biting other players Pretty sure it was announcer Ian Darke's comment after Portugal scored in last minute to tie USA 2-2. And I think it was "It's a sickener"

What is this, the olden days?

Carl's Jr. Commercial

Thank you everbody da fang

Melky Cabrera "answers questions" from reporters

He's an idiot

Obama about what Kanye West did at Grammys when he took mic from Taylor Swift .

Bye bye pervert

Heckler (from Howard Stern show?) during Anthony Weiner's resignation speech

Lies! (?) You lie!

Rep. Joe Wilson yells "liar" during State of the Union after Obama says illegal immigrants won't be insured.

I'm in my little shoes

Lindsay Lohan's mom interview with Dr. Phil

They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're people too...

Clip from Batman Movie (1966) Adam West as Batman

Err, that's none of your business

Tiger Woods pre-US Open conference after a question about his marriage

Tig-errrrrr!

Tiger Woods missing a shot

The wickedly talented one and only Adele Dazeem

John Travolta horribly mangles the name of Idina Menzel at the Oscars

Are you stupid?

Darrell Issa interrogating Jonathan Gruber

I'm happy to be on the hottest show on the west coast

Tom Benson being interviewed on the show. Clip is now part of the show intro

Dinner table events

Mitt Romney on ABC News talks about the humor in his "dinner table events".

I'm not gay no more... women women women

Homosexual is delivered from evil in church.

That's hot!

Paris Hilton

Bullshit!

Al Gore at Aspen Institute about global warming skeptics

Reality hits you hard, bro!

Very emphatic witness to a crash

I ain't washing my dang sack!

One of Jack's famous grundle comments <-- The conversation was actually about washing and reusing fabric grocery bags; Jack calls grocery bags "sacks"

He's taking a nap

House Speaker John Boehner comments on the escalating violence in Iraq, saying the President has been "taking a nap."

It made me sick to my stomach and I threw up yesterday

Interviewee response to "F*ck you Chinatown" rant

This is a mess

David Hasselhoff drunk on the floor being recorded by his daughter

Yeahhhhh

Distorted soundbyte of a guy saying 'Yeahhhhhh'

I put on my underwear

Alex Trebek about his alleged hotel room robbery chase

Son of a bitch

Alex Trebek drunk

Stupid people are ruining america

Herman Cain at CPAC during his 2012 presidential bid

F*ck you chinatown

Woman goes on screed during her last day working as a tour guide in SF chinatown

I want winners!

Mike Singletary rant

Bi-winning!

Charlie Sheen rant

Tiger Blood

Charlie Sheen rant

Google it

Rosie O'Donnell from The View how the twin towers was an inside job because fire doesn't melt steel.

Well a very bery heavy dirtation

CBS2's Serene Branson potentially has a stroke on air during a live broadcast

We shall never surrender!

Ted Cruz immitating Winston Churchill

Criminalized... Combined... Bob-a

Jill Abramson, former NY Times editor, with very strong vocal fry

Obama is a radical communist

Alan Keyes, in an interview with a reporter from KHAS-TV, filmed outside a fundraiser for the AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center in Hastings, Neb

Obama money!

Obama supporter asked about where her next handout will be coming from

And when he had those AIDS

Donald Sterling on Magic Johnson

Her name is snow

Animal rights activist manifesting in a posh restaurant

Half cup full, half cup empty

Tonya Harding in an interview looking back on her assault charges on Nancy Kerrigan

Let me take a selfie

The Chainsmokers viral parody

Stay classy, San Diego!

Ron Burgundy sign-off from Anchorman

Oh really?

Math teacher guest that Jack challenged

Pancakes Eggcetera

Romney enjoys a breakfast from a restaurant called Pancakes Eggcetera

Ten thousand dollar bet?

Mitt Romney Offers Rick Perry $10,000 Bet

I cannot hear a thing

Rush Limbaugh announcing his hearing loss due to abuse of pain killers

I want to kiss you

Joe Namath drunk to a female reporter

Fat!

Press conference of Oklahoma State Football Coach Mike Gundy upset after the win over Texas Tech

How much time.., till we're on?

Ron Burgundy from Anchorman

You're on the air, right now!

producer to Ron Burgundy from Anchorman

He is a snacker, He's got a weakness for snacks

An aide for Mitt Romney talking about him

Amma gonna git myself a HOT tub

Godwin on Duck Dynasty episode (also referenced and briefly played as a clip was his "Not many" in answer to how much money he had to spend)

Not, uhh... good.

Lance Armstrong's Interview with Oprah. Called Emma O'Reilly "the whore word." How does he feel about that? Not, uh, good.

You don't know me, and I don't know you

Meg Whitman's housekeeper interviewed by Gloria Allred after being fired.

I also read three Shakespeares

George W. Bush interviewed about what he read on a vacation by (Brian Williams?)

I'm not a fan of Hitler

Donald Trump is not a fan of Hitler.

The Bible!

Donald Trump names his favorite book ... the Bible!

Go Fat Boy!

Angry road rage incident in Hawaii from a foul-mouthed soccer mom

You're not making em laugh but you're bringing us together.

Andy Richter comments to Conan after a flat-falling joke about Amazon selling the Confederate flag.

If you're not registered to vote, register and vote

Alvin Greene during his first official campaign speech

Jeez-Oh Man

Kasich at debate

Let him sprum

Anderson Cooper at debate between Sanders and Clinton giving Sanders chance to respond

Mr. Thrump

Sheriff Joe Arpaio calls the Donald Mr Thrump